Focus on What is in Your Control
What is in your control? Is work in your control? Your spouse? Your kids? The government? As much as we’d like to believe we are “in control,” we really don’t have the ability to control much. The narrow scope of our control however, is not a sad fact of life, but as the quote says, it is a source of strength.
Many of us experience difficulty, frustration, anxiety, and annoyance unnecessarily. Coworkers, bosses, family members, politicians, etc., are often times unintentionally given free reign over our emotional well being. Many times we try to exercise control in all areas of our life, because when we feel in control, we feel safe and our anxiety allows us to rest - at least momentarily.
Our actions, thoughts, and words are really the only thing we have control over in this world. If a boss is being unrealistic in their expectations, we can allow that to bring about a burning frustration. If we are doing all we can, then we have the choice to either find a new job or tune out the boss’s ineffective leadership skills. After all, they are just another person looking for some control in this world. Marriages often times run into difficulty when the conversations consistently become about what the other person is doing (or not doing). Instead, focus on what you can do for your spouse.
So if it’s not our boss or our spouse or any other number of people, then that just leaves us alone with ourselves. For many people, being alone is interpreted as a problem. Focusing on their actions, thoughts, and words is a scary thing. Many people focus on things outside of their control because it feels too difficult to control things within themselves, which ultimately only ends up compounding the issue. But eliminating anxiety and depression from our lives requires a lot of introspection, which can be a difficult task.
If you are struggling with where to start, seek help from a licensed counselor to guide and walk alongside you. If you live in Illinois, I’d be happy to help you on that journey, and you can contact me at Pivot-Counseling.com/contact.